Well,
it has been a real cliff hanger, hey? Not knowing who Old Pete would
choose as his camel handler. Would it be the fully qualified son of
an Afghan man, or would it be the unqualified, but very nicely filled
out Heidi?
As
there were only two candidates Old Pete, in his wisdom, tossed a coin
to see who would get the job. He gave Heidi heads and the the S.A.M tails, as these were the only two sides to his coin, which made him
feel good about not having three candidates or he would have to find
a three sided coin.
It
took seven tosses before heads came up, but at least the decision was
made fair and square. I mean ya' can't beat the toss of a coin to
sort out important decisions; I use them all the time. At anyrate,
Heidi got the job.
When
Old Pete had explained to Heidi to select suitable clothing for the
trip, which would consist of a lot of sun and sand, she immediately
thought of the beach. Consequently Heidi turned up ready for work in
a bikini or so Old Pete believed as he couldn't see much cloth to
decide what it was she wasn't wearing.
Eventually,
after a look around the op-shops, raising eyebrows on the women and
other things on the men, they selected some very sensible shoes,
pants and a shirt with no buttons on the front, which Heidi said she
would sew on later, but never did; however, being as she had been so
good with the other wearing apparel, Old Pete said it was OK by him
ifn' she didn't sew the buttons on.
"Right,"
Old Pete said with the authority of a person in charge. "We will
go and meet the camels."
"Oh goody, goody, gumdrops."
"Now
this is Ahab who was once a bull camel but he and Hassein have been
bricked," Old Pete told her.
"Skuza!
Vas iss dis bricken' thingo?"
"Well,
it is like this," the old fella' started. "The best way to
turn a bull camel into a non-bull camel is to get two bricks and
then very carefully sneak up behind them and slam the bricks together
on their bull things. Then walla! No more bulling around from them
fellas what waz."
"Oh golly gee! Dis must hurten like crazy, ya?"
"No,
not if you are careful and keep your thumbs to the side."
"Well
they iss looken very quite friendship now, ya?"
"Ya. Another
thing 'bout bricking is that it helps to get them to take on a bit
more water when a long trip is about to start, like us is soon."
"Ya'
vass is dis thing to be doin'?" Heidi said in her hard to
understand language which will get better as the time passes and she
gets learnt more good old bloody Aussie slang from Old Pete and
some other along the way who knows Aussie slang.
"Vell,
I mean well, when they are drinking you sneak up behind them and just
bang two bricks together, this makes the camel suck in his breath, in
fright, and a lot of water with it and it tops him right up to the
full mark."
"You
iss werry clever, Old Pete, ya?"
"Ya.
Now up you go, hop up into the camel saddle and see how you fit."
Old
Pete pulled out his notebook and read "Cush!" and low
and behold the darn camels laid down for the humans to hop on board.
"How
iss it to getten it to stood upenheizer?"
"Dunno,
I think ya' say 'Get up ya' lazy mongrel."
No comments:
Post a Comment